Letting Go...
Feroshia R.J. Knight, MA, PCC
They say it's not the fall that kills you, but the abrupt landing.
I dangled in the air, gripping a rope that hung from somewhere inside a dark, heavy rain cloud that drenched me to the bone. Lightning flashed and thunder crashed around me. My arms were exhausted, and even though the rope burned and tore up my hands, I knew something bad would happen if I let go. I looked down. How far was the drop to terra firma?
Huh. Only a foot.
My chiweenie sniffed at my shoes and wagged his tail. He seemed to say, "Come on, come on! You'll land on your feet, and I'll show you the way to the treats bin."
I felt torn. I needed to do something. My heart pounded as I loosened my grip ever so slightly. But again, fear flooded my chest, and I grabbed on tight, staring into the clouds and praying for sunshine that would never come.
I woke up on the couch with an odd sense of dread lingering in my chest—the dread that festers when you don't do the one thing you know you must: let go.
I'm all about not getting hurt, believe me. That's why my inner turmoil manifested itself in my dream. I wanted to stay in the same place with my false sense of security and faith in a person who'd long since lost the right to it. I had some decisions to make.
These days, our little communities have gone global. Our business contacts are far reaching, our circle of acquaintances has expanded, and our personal relationships encounter more modern obstacles and stressors than ever before. That means we have more chances to get hurt. Sometimes the people we trust let us down. Occasionally, they suck all our energy and become toxic. But we give them the benefit of the doubt, time after time. After all, we know them, we "get" them. They don't mean to hurt us. Do they?
Usually not. We humans are intrinsically good. But for whatever reasons, things change. The trick comes in recognizing when it's time for us to change, and let go.
And here's why. Sometimes, in hanging on too hard or too long, we compromise our self respect, our beliefs, and our goals. We don't want to let other people down, so we carry on as always or go beyond the boundaries we're comfortable with in attempt to make things right. It's incredible the creative ways we can find to cling to the familiarity of a relationship, waiting for the other person to come around.
Seriously, how often does that really happen? How long are you going to wait for that to happen, maybe even putting your life on hold?
News flash: If we don't do what's right for ourselves when relationships become untenable, we only let ourselves down. To thine own self be true is not just a motto. It's a lifestyle. We can't live in a bubble and avoid relationships because they might hurt us; but neither can we allow the toxic ones to dictate our actions and divert us off course or away from the things we value.
I've made some difficult decisions today. I refuse to live under the dark cloud of a relationship that no longer works. I'm letting go. And I am okay with that because as the owner and architect of my destiny, I know what's best for me.
Besides, my chiweenie needs a treat, and who better to come home to than a big furball of unconditional love?
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